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Dear Meghan McCain,

May 14, 2009

Oh Meghan.  Dear sweet Meghan.  You have so much to learn.  Let me help you out with that.

You said we need to make the GOP new and cool again.  Being the daughter of a liberal disguised as a conservative must have muddled your thinking.  Reform is one of those bleeding heart liberal words.  The GOP stands for Grand OLE Party.  We don’t really want a Grand NEW Party.  So hush your badly lined lips.

I think your parents did you a disservice and didn’t use basic parenting cliches when raising you.  My parents always said “If all your friends jump off a cliff….will you do it too?” This is not meant literally as your badly dyed head might think.  It means that you shouldn’t do things just because everyone else is.  That is the thinking that got Republicans into the mess they are in now.  So many conservatives thought….well, if they say we shouldn’t speak out against abortion, gay marriage and taxes….then we won’t. Maybe the liberals will like us then.  It didn’t work Meghan darling.  Obviously.

So, like you nominated yourself as Prom Queen of the GOP, I also nominate myself.  I think that the “new face” of the GOP should not curve their morals to be popular, but instead be so popular that people like you even if they disagree with you.  Your daddy didn’t win…remember?  Even though 70% of Americans don’t believe exactly what Barack Obama claims to believe, they LIKED him.  No one likes you, and its not helped by your hideous choices in handbags.  Just saying. Let the race begin.

As Prom Queen of the GOP, I say we SPEAK for our beliefs and not bend them to the liking of the liberals.  I say we tell people why abortion is murder.  I say we support Rush Limbaugh who has THRIVED in the enormous face of adversity, and not given up.  I say we waterboard, slap, grab, and kick the faces of the terrorist pussies who dare to mess with MY America.  I say we don’t tax the heck out of everything.  I say government should be less and not more.  I say we remember the Constitution that made this country great.

Your pathetic plan Meghan is simple, mindless and as badly done as your roots. “If you can’t beat ’em…..join ’em.” Arlen Spector did….right?  You can join Arlen.  We don’t really care.  Besides all of this, I am cuter…smarter….more fashion sense…and have bigger boobs.

OH, I almost forgot my last campaign promise.  I will never be seen with this piece of no-moral-having-but-I-continually-twitter-I-am-a-Christian piece of crap…..

Meghan and her new BFF whatshername MontagPrattini

Love but not really,

Jen

This post is paid for by the *JEN FOR PROM QUEEN OF THE GOP ’09* Campaign.  Jen has read and approved this message.

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8 comments

  1. Don’t hold back. How do you really feel?


  2. Completely awesome synopsis! Libs will definitely target you for offending Meg’s handbags and call you “mean-spirited”, but that’s part of the fun.

    Now for the real question…Where can I buy some bumper stickers?


  3. Hip, Hip, Hooray for telling the truth! @jen004 has my vote for Prom Queen, not just of GOP but of the USA! I’m gonna go tweet that now.


  4. haha bitter much?


  5. Why is it that you never want to fu*k a girl who’s against abortion? I hope i just provide you with something to attack, considering that’s all the GOP can do now-adays.


    • No, in fact it is almost the opposite. This is why girls like me who are against abortion wouldn’t sleep a boy like you. But if the anonymous asshole thing is working for you…who am I to judge?

      P.S. There is a term for boys that write anonymously and claim to not sleep with a girl based on her beliefs. Its called a virgin.


  6. You are ignorant. You take the dumbest tweets from liberals and comment on them. It’s too bad your mom didn’t believe in abortion.


    • You’re so right! But then again, if my life is horribly sad and you took time to read my thoughts and comment on them….I guess yours is worse. Sucks to be you!



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