My New TV NetworkJune 9, 2009
I have decided that besides Fox News (God Bless Fox News) we conservatives are lacking in the quality television show category. In order to rectify this misjustice I have decided that we should start our own network, chalk full of awesome Conservative based television programs that would make us laugh and think…the way we all deserve to. As I stated, I love Fox News, but after watching it for hours upon hours as I have I realize that it has a tendency to make me sad, feel defeated, and angry at whats going on in the world around me. We need an uplifting moment once in a while!
The name of my proposed network is Broadcasting In DeLiberalized Entertainment Network or BIDEN for short.
Some of my proposed shows are as follows:
“I’m a Liberal, Get Me Out Of Here!”~ We set 10 high profile liberals in a high carbon producing slaughterhouse, run by a NRA, Republican owner, who has the ten commandments and the Constitution posted in the breakroom. These liberals must work at the plant for 3 weeks, for charity of course, and must at the end of the time, tell those charities that their entire winnings have been taken by taxes.
“Are You Smarter Than Nancy Pelosi” ~ We pit 5 children who are raised in a Christian Private School against Nancy Pelosi to see if she can score higher than any of the kids. If she fails, she gets waterboarded. If she wins, she has to admit to five lies she’s told in the past week. Either way, we win and get a great big huge laugh.
“Charm School: The Girls of the DNP” We take all the mistresses of all the liberals in recent history, Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Rielle Hunter, Donna Rice, maybe Blaze Starr for kicks….just to name a few, and then make them all live in a house together while being taught etiquette by Elizabeth Dole. Fun times will surely ensue.
“Lost: The Crash of Flight AF1” ~ A drama where Air Force One, in a photo-op flying over the New York Skyline, is detoured and crashes on an strange island that has very strange properties. The cast, who bears a striking resemblance to the current occupants of the White House, have to fight for survival against their enemies “The Repothers” while trying to figure out their destinies. We get a telling look into their pasts in flashbacks, including but not limited to the ACTUAL birth of their assumed leader BaJack. No one has ever actually seen a record of his birth. Its the greatest mystery of all.
“Desperate Housewives of Pennsylvania Ave” One street, 4 wives, lots of drama. Michelle Obama, Jill Biden, Mary Catherine Gibbs, and Carole Geithner lead crazy lives as the wives of some of the most influential men in Washington. But what goes on behind closed doors is even more shocking and stunning. Laughter and addictive drama are just two of the qualities these wacky families provide in this larger than life television series. Tune in next week to see who really paid for Michelle and Barry’s date to NYC last week!
“Bailout or No Bailout” Danny Bonaduce hosts as the CEOs of all major companies vie for the chance to win their piece of the American dream. There are 26 cases, all containing cash amounts from $1 to $32,000,000,000. The Bank Czar offers a deal for the CEO’s at intervals throughout the game. Watch out though, Rush Limbaugh has been known to make a guest appearance and call you out for not deserving your prize!
Now granted these are all works in progress and more are definitely up for discussion. We deserve the chance to laugh too! Let me know if you think of any good ones too! I am always welcome to suggestions!