The Alaskan BlobJuly 17, 2009
If you have not heard yet…there is a “blob” in the Arctic Ocean in Lake Chukchi. Its HUGE, black, it moves, and has “hair-like” strands. It smells of rotting fruit, and jellyfish and birds have even been caught up in its sticky ooze. Scientists have been trying to determine exactly what it is…but say it is definitely biological organism.
Here’s how I think the two political sides will play this.
Liberal: You obviously have seen the Alaskan Blob right?
Conservative: Yes, I have.
Liberal: Well, are you going to admit global warming exists? How else could that thing have been made?
Conservative: No, its definitely not the proof I need for global warming to exist.
Liberal: YOU ARE SO BLIND! Obviously the ocean is gelatinous and becoming one huge blob!
Conservative: I don’t think its gelatin.
Liberal: Then, Ms. I-Am-Always-Right…what is it?
Conservative: I have a good idea what it is.
Liberal: Then enlighten me…please.
Conservative: David Letterman, John Kerry, and Al Gore spew all kinds of crap directed at Sarah Palin and Alaska. Guess all that crap finally grouped together into one big blob of liberal excrement.
Liberal: I don’t understand.
Conservative: Basically, its Alaska’s way of saying
Liberals love giving us shit, so we thought we’d give you some of it back.
Liberal: Whatever, liberals still hate Sarah Palin.
Conservative: I know, and that alone, makes me smile everyday.
At least….that’s what I would say.