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A How-To Guide for Liberals

September 14, 2009

I kinda feel sorry for the liberals. I mean, I don’t know from experience or anything, but it must be difficult having to explain the unexplainable all the time. For example, why is it global warming when it is neither effecting the whole globe nor is actually warming? Or explaining how its understandable why Clinton cheated and not when Mark Sanford does it? Well, I cannot answer those questions for you but I figured I would take a break from making liberals jobs harder and take a moment to try to help out some of my friends on the left. So therefore, I will take a moment to provide liberals with a How-To guide of things to say when asked about the 9-12 March on Washington.

After asked why did so many people show up for the 9-12 March on Washington you liberals should reply with one or more of the following…

1. Obviously they are all racists. And the black people that were there were racists against half-black people and gay people.

2. It was obviously a coincidence that they were all there on the same day, at the same time, with signs relaying the same message.

3. They were paid by Fox Propaganda Network.

4. They lie.

5. Didn’t you hear Janet Napolitano? They are TERRORISTS!

6. It was really a million liberals impersonating conservatives for the biggest punk’d prank ever.

7. They obviously took a picture of the two people that were there and photoshopped in the rest.

8. All of them have terminally ill and oppose universal healthcare because they want everyone to die with them.

9. A million people? Yeah right! I counted 999,998.

10. When was the last time anyone cheered on 9-12? Thats right. When Al-Queda did it.

11. A March? Like as in marching? I remember someone else marching. It was Hilter’s troops.

12. Opposing the President is un-American.

13. I heard they drug a black person behind a truck while the rest of the people cheered.

14. 12 is one less than 11 and 9 is two more than 11. K is the 11th letter of the alphabet. So obviously they all belong to the KKK.

15. They were opposing healthcare because it has the word care in it and conservatives hate everyone.

16. It was free lemonade day at a Pennsylvania Ave. street vendor. Most of them were there for that.

17. They are definitely all rich. Only rich people oppose taxes.

18. It was a teabagging convention. They are just all really sexual deviants.

19. They weren’t protesting OUR taxes and healthcare. They were protesting CANADA’s. We were just looking out for Canadians.

And if all else fails, if you cannot explain the unexplainable, if you are beated down by conservative logic, and if you have no other options….simply say…

20. I blame George Bush for the March.

Well, my Left Lefty McLeftersons…I hope this helps. I have your back. Don’t say I never did anything for you!

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One comment

  1. Oh, Jen, you have me laughing out loud!! I gotta post this to my Twitter Tweeps!!!



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