Top 10 Liberal Accusations

I hear this list of Liberal baiting questions. You know…the questions they ask in hopes of finding some contradiction or hypocrisy in how I respond. But they keep asking the same things numerous times. Maybe if I answer them here, then I could stop saying the same things over and over and over again. I doubt so, but here they are anyways.

10. Why do you want everyone to think like you?
This one is a classic. Most liberals think that we want everyone to convert to Conservatism. We don’t. I get some of my most insightful and intelligent beliefs based on the challenges of others. But I think its hilarious that they ask me that…in hopes of changing my mind? Maybe its hard for people to see the irony, but I see it and laugh at it.

9. How can you like Sarah Palin when she is a quitter who has bad parenting skills?
OH HOW THE LIBERALS HATE SARAH PALIN. Almost everyday someone asks me this….or says it in a statement to me…you get the drift. Well, Sarah Palin represents every thing this government needs. Someone who believes in God, the military, pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-capitalism. Also, when I was a rebellious teenager, I did drugs and had sex. This was not my PARENT’S fault that I did these things. I knew they were wrong. But I CHOSE to do them, just like Bristol Palin did.

8. You think McCain would have done better?
I am not a big John McCain fan. He fathered my mortal enemy Meghan. Do I think he would have done better? Yes. Do I think he would do the best? No. But stop asking me. He didn’t win. I got over it. Can you now get over it please?

7. How can you not want insurance for sick children when you are a Christian?
(I love how whenever a liberal is trying to make a point…they always use the kid angle) I personally don’t see the connection between insurance and religion, but I will humor you. My answer to this is simple. First, if you can’t afford to care for your child, you shouldn’t have had one. Second, I DO want sick kids to get better, which is WHY I want health care privatized. Duh.

6. Why do you blame Obama for Bush/Cheney ruining our economy?
Lets pretend America is the husband and our President is the wife. America marries the President, and after an eight year marriage they get a divorce. The wife cost the husband billions of dollars in debt. The husband then meets a new wife. He still has the debt from his previous marriage. The new wife is a shopaholic, she spends money like it is water, maxes out all of the credit cars, takes out loans from anyone she can. She spends so much that in just a few months of marriage she has TRIPLED the amount of debt he already had. Now. who is responsible for tripling the debt? Not wife #1….she’s already gone, and is only responsible for the debt of the past. Wife #2 it was alllllllllllll you. You can blame Bush for the economy, but I blame Obama for making it catastrophically outrageous.

5. Why don’t you support abortions for the mothers whose life is endangered or have been raped?”
First, only ONE PERCENT (1%) of abortions are for these circumstances. That means for every 99 babies killed for no reason, 1 is killed for the reasons listed. To understand why I don’t support it…remember that I believe abortion is murder. Lets say the kid is born. Mom gets raped. Should she be able to shoot her kid in the face because she went through a traumatic disaster? No. Mom gets cancer. Her life is in danger and she is going to die. Can she THEN shoot her kid in the face? No. That’s my answer.

4. You should respect whoever is in the White House, because he is President. Why don’t you?
I can answer this in 3 little words. Respect is EARNED. When he does something that is worthy of my respect, you’ll be the first to know.

3. Why can you not compromise?
We have. For years now, we have accepted your ridiculous claims, lies, deceit, and propaganda. Why can’t I compromise? Because of liberals. We have compromised for WAY TOO LONG…but your idea of compromise is us doing what they want. We’re tired of it. I, for one, say it is your turn to compromise.

2. Why do you say Obama is without morals, when conservatives keep getting caught cheating? Why not call them out?
First of all, I don’t believe who you have sex with has anything to do with politics. But I will answer. I think infidelity is a MALE PROBLEM. I have had boyfriends who cheated who probably couldn’t tell you what a Uighur is. But apparently cheating is political? I do feel sorry for any family who has to go through the hurt that their husband and father created. I hope they ask for forgiveness. When the news story hit, I said the same thing I always do. GUYS NEED TO LEARN TO KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS.

1.MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: “I try to get all sides of the picture, and the one painted by the right is that of fear & hate, never one of compromise & unity.” ~My favorite *free-thinker* and yours @darrwin
Elle. Oh. Elle. or LOL for some of you. Oh dear! I can totally see how that makes you open minded. No bias there. (if your computer just got wet, that was my dripping sarcasm)

Well there you have it folks. Gotta love the fact that Liberals constantly give me things to laugh at and blog about. Let me know in a comment if you have any good Liberal accusations and questions below.

Oh, and don’t forget, I am a racist, uneducated, ignorant, bible thumping, hate filled, brainwashed, manipulative, uncharitable, biased, intolerant, hypocrite. Or so I’ve been told.

The Alaskan Blob

If you have not heard yet…there is a “blob” in the Arctic Ocean in Lake Chukchi. Its HUGE, black, it moves, and has “hair-like” strands. It smells of rotting fruit, and jellyfish and birds have even been caught up in its sticky ooze. Scientists have been trying to determine exactly what it is…but say it is definitely biological organism.

Here’s how I think the two political sides will play this.

Liberal:  You obviously have seen the Alaskan Blob right?

Conservative:  Yes, I have.

Liberal:  Well, are you going to admit global warming exists?  How else could that thing have been made?

Conservative: No, its definitely not the proof I need for global warming to exist.

Liberal: YOU ARE SO BLIND! Obviously the ocean is gelatinous and becoming one huge blob!

Conservative:  I don’t think its gelatin.

Liberal:  Then, Ms. I-Am-Always-Right…what is it?

Conservative:  I have a good idea what it is.

Liberal:  Then enlighten me…please.

Conservative:  David Letterman, John Kerry, and Al Gore spew all kinds of crap directed at Sarah Palin and Alaska. Guess all that crap finally grouped together into one big blob of liberal excrement.

Liberal:  I don’t understand.

Conservative:  Basically, its Alaska’s way of saying

Liberals love giving us shit, so we thought we’d give you some of it back.

Liberal: Whatever, liberals still hate Sarah Palin.

Conservative: I know, and that alone, makes me smile everyday.

At least….that’s what I would say.

World Wildlife Fund FAIL

Ok, so people don’t get angry about the same things I get angry about…and I get that. Every single other normal American Citizen can just watch commercials, not get upset, and go about their daily business.  Not I.  So tonight, with the help of a friend of mine, we did something about it.

I am sure you have all seen one of our favorite ER doctors and awesome Librarian, Noah Wylie with his super sad World Wildlife Fund ad.  Two little polar bears, sitting on a block of ice, seeming out in the middle of the ocean, jump off the block of ice because as we all know…it’s melting…into the warming ocean and swimming to England or somewhere.  Most likely, those polar bears were five feet from another larger land based chunk of ice..where the video team was shooting the clip from.

This is an excerpt of an article from Christopher Booker of the Telegraph.co.uk about Dr. Mitchell Taylor, Polar Bear Biologist from the Department of the Environment, Government of Nunavut.

Dr Mitchell Taylor has been researching the status and management of polar bears in Canada and around the Arctic Circle for 30 years, as both an academic and a government employee. More than once since 2006 he has made headlines by insisting that polar bear numbers, far from decreasing, are much higher than they were 30 years ago. Of the 19 different bear populations, almost all are increasing or at optimum levels, only two have for local reasons modestly declined.

Dr. Mitchell Taylor has also claimed that polar bears numbers are no where near in the need of alarm, and that the WWF and other organizations have used polar bears to say that climate change is effecting species, one of the few species to live in such arctic climates to add to the hysteria surrounding global warming.

So, back to my anger.

I was sitting watching Clueless, a movie I am sure was based on my high school existence, and I had to see that Noah Wylie commercial like five times.  I called the number at the bottom of the screen.  I was on hold for like fifteen minutes, got more upset, and hung up.  I was upset not only because being on hold raises anger in everyone, but because apparently so many morons were being sucked in their commercial that they could not answer my call.  I expressed my anger to one of my friends, who said I should call back on three way.  Well after some technical difficulties related to my ignorance with three way calling, we figured it out.  Here’s a basic re-enactment of how the phone call went.

Operator in sweet singsongy voice: Thank you for calling the World Wildlife Fund, would you like to make a donation today to save the worlds endangered animals?

Me: Actually, I have a problem.  I have been watching my television and I have seen your polar bear ad like five times.  I wondered when you were going to stop airing it considering polar bears are not going extinct.

Operator in suddenly not so nice voice: Well, ma’am they are still on the endangered species list, we are still concerned with their well being, so would you like to donate to help?

Me: Well, if I thought they were going extinct…sure!  But they’re not.  Many scientist say they’re actually GROWING in numbers and not declining.  Sarah Palin, the former governor in Alaska where polar bears actually live, say it is so as well.  So it’s false advertisement and I wanted to know when I wouldn’t have to see it anymore.

Operator in know-it-all-but-really-I-don’t tone: Polar bears live in Alaska and (list of places polar bears live like it made a difference to the argument at hand)

Me: I am not saying polar bears only live in Alaska, I know they don’t.  But that doesn’t make up for the fact they are not endangered or going extinct.

Operator in ANGRY tone: They are still on the endangered species list and have since (insert date here) 2008…so we will continue to care about them.  (Does that mean liberals only care about dying animals?  Just wondering) Then if not polar bears, what about panda bears?  Or the (some term I didn’t care enough to actually remember) tiger? Would you like to donate to help them?

Me: Actually I think the way to save any “endangered” species is to make it legal to kill them, make fur coats out of them, eat them, and then if people could make money off of them they would breed them like we do cows and chickens.  Are cows and chickens in danger of becoming as you say “extinct”?  No?  Thats because people know they can make money off of them. (Hence the beauty of CAPITALISM)

Somewhere in that last statement of mine the kind animal loving operator hung up.

My friend:  Jen, he hung up on you.

My friend and I:  Lots and lots of laughter

It was classic.  I said, “Did you hear how angry he got when I said what I said to begin with?”  My friend answered in the affirmative.  I then conceded, “Guess they aren’t too fond when they can’t argue with someone who they know is right.”

Sorry World Wildlife Fund….but that….was a major fail.  Next time, ask me maybe twelve MORE times if I would like to donate money and maybe it will get your point across that you actually care more about being accurate than being well ‘fund’ed.  At least now they know they have made someone else angry BESIDES Vince McMahon.